The Shell of a Person

"Never have disgusting, miserable living conditions been so funny. When someone finally finds a way to send back a report from hell, I hope it will be Lance Pototschnik. Except this guy is going to heaven, for the way he writes." --The Kindle Book Review “Welcome to beautiful Costa Rica! Come and ex ...

Green Sunday

When TJ, a fat neckbeard small time youtuber living with his mom met a strange girl in his one note town, he thought his luck was changing. What he didn’t know, on her heels, a deepweb gameshow bent on bringing his hick mountain town to its knees, just for sport.

Unleashing flesh hungry z ...

Anyone But the Boss

What happens when a grumpy billionaire, a perpetually friendly marketing exec and a hairless cat with a catnip addiction spend a night in Vegas... (A black-eye for starters.) Thomas Moore, heir to the glamorous New York department store Moore’s, has everything. Everything but a sense of humor. Proba ...

Careful-ish

Ready to laugh with six new friends who'll make you feel better about your own choices? The Joy (yes, that’s what she calls herself) is the crazy glue that’s holding this group of reprobates together. When lockdown hits, she insists on maintaining their weekly happy hour. She also insists that getti ...

Street Dog Dreams

What if dogs were royalty and humans their loyal servants? Hop aboard our invisible flying machine as Aunt Maddie and Uncle Horace join an international search for a new dogdom. The Royal Canines are recruiting street dogs who want a better life with devoted humans who speak the language of dogs. As ...

Seduction of Crowns

A boy-band heart throb. A violent kidnap. A female cop’s daring rescue. A spark to fire the passion of love.

When Sergeant Sophia Castellana stumbles into an international terrorist attack, things are not as they seem. Global forces beyond her grasp sweep her up into an a ...

WAYNE HAWKINS THE REALM

The Malfoys fight Wayne Hawkins and the resistance. At times the wizards prevail. Then the resistance wins in the end. 

Chief Sitting Moose (the bonus story) is about a band of American natives taking over a saloon in the wild west. It's a humorous tale about the chief and his men fightin ...

Blame it on Bigfoot

At times funny, at times frightening--a fast-paced thriller... When Sheriff Jeff McQuede's friend, Barry Dawson, tricks him into attending a Bigfoot convention at the small town of Trails' End, he finds the adventure is only beginning. He is soon invited by the head of the research team, Dr. Adam ...

An Almost Purrfect Murder

When Frankie Chandler boards an Alaskan cruise ship, she’s hardly a cheerful advertisement for sailing the ocean blue. Her best (and only) friend is getting married, which means the end of impromptu girl’s nights. Her only consolation is the all-night buffet, but even that can’t make up for the body ...

Sick to Death

Knowing you're dying can be murder. When Gage Adder finds out he has inoperable pancreatic cancer, things really start to look up for him. He leaves his soul-crushing job, joins a nice terminal illness support group, and takes up an exciting new hobby: Serial killing.

Reckless Traveler

Reckless Traveler: an autobiographical novel of adventuring in South America, sure to delight anyone with a passport. Perú and beyond: Through the alchemy of travel, youthful folly may bring disaster or wisdom . . . and more. The instructional travel guide for aspiring backpackers: learn how ...

Just Add Water (Hetta Coffey Series, Book 1)

HETTA COFFEY IS A SASSY TEXAN WITH A SNAZZY YACHT, AND SHE'S NOT AFRAID TO USE IT! Just Add Water, winner of the National EPPIE Award for BEST MYSTERY. Hetta Coffey is a globe-trotting civil engineer with a swath of failed multi-national affairs in her jet stream. Plying the San Francisco waterfront ...

Christmas Pawsibilities

Former playboy Ryan Madison has wanted no one else since he met elfenchaun, Dori. He has waited many long months for her to be certain she could love a mere human and his quirky family. Now, as they are planning their Christmas wedding, a box of broken childhood memories arrives, as well as a space ...

Death By Baguette: A Valentine’s Day Murder in Paris

Paris – the city of love, lights… and murder? Join tour guide Lana Hansen as she escorts five couples on an unforgettable Valentine-themed vacation to France! Unfortunately it will be the last trip for one passenger… Lana Hansen’s future is looking bright. She has money in her bank account, a babysi ...

Chocolate Truffle Kiss

Writer, Beth, visits the same café every afternoon, enjoying her latte and a chocolate truffle while scribbling in her notebook. The delicious treats keep her coming back day after day, not to mention the inspiration she finds there – Samuel. The barista is tall, dark and delicious, and ...

Beyond Dead

Bridget Sway is newly dead. And confused. Instead of cloud cars and harp-playing cherubs, the afterlife is working a full-time job that doesn’t pay and a heinous communal living situation with housemates who have no concept of privacy or personal space. As if that wasn’t bad enough, on her first ...

The Vasectomy Diaries

From the best-selling author of "Perhaps I've Said Too Much" and "Romantic as Hell."

It Gets Easier: A Short Tale of Comical Catastrophe

He'd never guess that his very courage to commit could be the cause of his own downfall. Jake's loved and lost, suffered failed relationships and felt real sorrow, but the new girl in his life may just be the one to finally put an end to that life. His girlfriend Samantha is sweet and kind, full of ...

Powerballs: Be careful what you wish for.

"A lively beach or commute read, this quick, cheerful parody of aging, capitalism, and marriage offers a little bit of everything--comedy, suspense, romance--and even some insights into the meaning of life."
-Booklife by Publishers Weekly
 
...

My Life in Ladies' Knickers

Another outrageous full-length comedy satire novel from Oscar Sparrow. 

Golden Monkey

Little Lance Pototschnik wanted to grow up and play pro football, but that pipe dream got smoked by his lethargic growth hormones and a terrible skin disorder. The death of his childhood aspirations did, however, plant the seeds for Lance to find comedy in rejection and suffering. In this gaspingly ...

Spoonful Chronicles

Thaniya Rasid grew up in the Middle East dreaming of becoming a surgeon. Now living an ordinary life as a mother, wife and a hospital lab tech in Vancouver, Canada, she garners unexpected fame as youTube’s Queen of Hummus when her video demonstrating the recipe goes viral. How could blending c ...

What the Cluck? It's Murder

Pet psychic Frankie Chandler finally (and reluctantly) agrees to meet Detective Martin Bower’s family. All she has to do is impress the pack of sisters who raised him. Not difficult, right? The only thing at stake is her relationship with the man she loves. The weekend at his eldest sibling’s fa ...

The Faux Fang Murders

Carnivorous garden gnomes or mutant sewer monsters. Nothing is too weird for intrepid paranormal reporter Aurora North. Especially as she usually finds the logical, and deeply unparanormal, explanation for it all. When her editor asks her to check out an alleged vampire attack, Aurora is absolutely ...

If You See Kay Hide

Ladies, do you need a good giggle-snort? Bobbi Jax, AKA BJ is a magnet for trouble. But this time it looks like things are turning themselves around. BJ hits the lottery when her dog, Twinkles, suddenly starts pooping glitter and jewels. It’s almost like BJ has her very own golden goose. Yup, life i ...

A Dead Tomato Plant and a Paycheck

What on earth do a dead tomato plant and a paycheck have in common? Maryann Miller explores the fun and foibles of how to survive parenting a large family, while vainly keeping body and mind intact. From School Daze to Summertime Blues, and everything in between, the book airs the Miller laundry wit ...

Kids Say The Darndest Things To Santa Claus Volume 2

Ever wonder what children say to Santa Claus at Christmastime? Or what it would be like to don the Santa suit and portray jolly old St. Nick? Follow this volunteer Santa, author Don Kennedy, as he visits kids for the past 25 years at hospitals, military bases, women's and children's shelters, commun ...

St. Batzy & the Time Machine

After all the years they had been married, Maddie Ainsworth's presence still had the ability to discombobulate Horace. She was as tall as his own six feet--the reason they saw eye-to-eye on most things, they joked. To Horace, she was more beautiful than when they met thirty-some years ago. Maddie lo ...

A DANGEROUS HARBOR

A lovely American detective's idyllic sail to Mexico ends when she comes face to face with her unfortunate past. But what is unfortunate for Detective Katy Hunter is just the ticket a handsome Latin investigator needs to solve a murder involving a rich, and cartel connected, American yachtsman. The ...

A DEAD RED MIRACLE

#5 in THE DEAD RED MYSTERY SERIES Like Janet Evanovich? Sue Grafton? You’ll love this humorous mystery series! Your dirt-bag boss is murdered, what a relief, right? Until his killer lets you know a list you don’t have means you’re next. Thinking to jump start their careers as private inve ...

The Weekend Warrior

Weekends are hell.

If you do them right.

That's the subtext of the columns scrawled by Wiley from various states of semi-consciousness as he slinks out of the woodwork and insinuates himself into the soft underbelly of Southern California consciousness. Wilier than a coyote, badde ...

Space Cowgirl: Houston, All Systems Go

NASA astronaut Julie Starr knows nothing is earned without blood, sweat, and frizzy hair. Recently returned from orbit, Jules is on her way to becoming the youngest Flight Commander ever. So she isn't about to let a creepy stalker derail her goals. Or a chivalrous, wealthy rancher either, for that m ...

Fun Stories Greatest Hits: Silly Short Stories, Dad Jokes, Puns, and Real-Life Humor

Amazon reviewers call Fun Stories Greatest Hits "the type of silly we all need!" Author R. Scott Murphy has honed his zingers and tongue-in-cheek observations of life as a writer for David Letterman’s Late Show, as a radio DJ, and as a TV host. Now, for the first time, Murphy's best-loved bits are ...

Unhappily Ever After

In Fairyland 200 years after the 'happy ending' Cinderella is plotting to divorce Charming. The other royal families aren't happy either. Sleeping Beauty is making up for all that lost time by producing 28 children her husband can't afford. Snow White, the perfect lady is married to a king who be ...

Hexed in Texas: A Humorous Fantasy

The Only Way is Murder

Where fake tans and fake smiles abound, a dancing queen must tango with deception to unmask a murderer before the last curtain call.

As her 50th birthday approaches, Chloe Essex prepares to unveil her exciting new business venture in the quaint village of Speckled Hill ...

Murder on a Moon Trek

Sylvia Stryker has no business being on the next Moon Unit Cruise Line, unless you count aspirations and dreams. The career that once felt within her reach—Intergalactic Cruise Ship Security—disappeared the day her dad was arrested for collusion with space pirates. Since then she’s begrudgingly been ...

Groovin': Horses, Hopes, and Slippery Slopes

In this lighthearted memoir of adventure and self-discovery, Rich Israel takes us on his journey during the tumultuous 1960s. Eschewing societal norms, he hitchhikes across the country, tries his hand at mining, works at a circus, and rides a horse hundreds of miles through the Rocky Mountain wilder ...

Christmas Grift

A corpse, a cantankerous camel, an entertaining array of suspects, and a yule tide of problems along the way…it must be a Flo and Agnes Christmas! Who would have guessed Agnes would rub Penelope the cranky camel the wrong way? Or that Flo would find herself ankle deep in camel dung while fending off ...

Power Pup #1: Power Pup vs. Tommy Trigger Finger

Calvin Quinn is a long way from the corn fields of Nebraska. The rookie canine journalist is eager to start a new life in the metropolitan city of Bowwow. He dreams of busting bad guys with front page headlines alongside Bowwow's famous investigative journalist team, Mittens Meow and Alex Digger. Bu ...

Poetry and Pyres

Magical mayhem ensues when the Shaw family celebrates two new-to-them Scottish holidays in Poetry and Pyres, a Shrouded Isle novelette featuring Becca’s daughter, Jessie. During Robert Burns Night, An unexpected guest comes to the honored poet’s party. The meal goes awry through no fault of the ...

Anyone But the Billionaire

Self-made mogul Chase Moore is a charming hound dog with a hairless cat and a family business to save. He was fine being the spare to the heir until the family's billion-dollar business threatens to go belly-up. Now Chase will need more than his rakish good looks to fight his father for contro ...

Bride of Careful-ish

If your wedding venue cancels your wedding but keeps your deposit, and your parents continue badmouthing your fiancée, who keeps jabbing at you about your weight, would you think the universe was trying to tell you something?

Kimi sure does. Her friends disagree. But why do they get a say? For ...

The Alchemy of Happiness

The Alchemy of Happiness follows Aloysius Williams and his adventures in search of the meaning and practice of happiness. This satire on religion, culture and prejudice will challenge the history buffs and delight all lovers of tall-tales and happy endings.

Romantic As Hell - Tales of Woe, Tips of Woo: An Illustrated Guide for the Romantically Challenged

FINALIST - 2016 IAN Book of the Year Awards From the bestselling author of Things Go Wrong for Me and Perhaps I've Said Too Much... In this hilarious, heartfelt and surprisingly useful book, bestselling humor author and comedian Rodney Lacroix opens up about his failed romantic endeavors and - more ...

Rocky Mountain Star

Did someone say dance like no one is watching? Guess that’s the only way Tyler CAN dance now. Slip into the pages of the fun and feisty second book in the Rocky Mountain Romances series. Tyler Carter has everything she dreams of—she’s the starring ballerina in a Cirque-du-Soleil type show, a splashy ...

The 39 Cupcakes

Ex-cop-turned-P.I. Maggie Doyle is stuck chaperoning a group of bratty summer camp kids to an archaeological dig on Whisper Island. After a day of fart jokes, fidget spinners, and fist fights, Maggie's regretting volunteering—and then one of her feral charges discovers a skeleton. At first it looks ...

History Retweets Itself: Texas Edition

Bill Rodgers makes us laugh until our sides hurt in this hilarious look at current events - today and yesterday. “Bill has been making me laugh for over twenty years!” - Jay Leno “Will tickle your funny bone. Damned clever!” - Jesse Sublett, Author, Musician, Austin Character ...

Things Go Wrong for Me

FINALIST - 2013 Next Generation Indie Book Awards (Humor/Humour) FINALIST - 2013 National Indie Excellence Book Awards (Humor/Humour) Think you've got it bad? You ain't seen nothing yet. Murphy's Law, meet Rodney's Law. If it can go wrong, it has already happened to Rodney Lacroix in the worst, most ...

A Merry Christmas Ceilidh

It's their first winter holiday together on the Shrouded Isle… American widow Becca, her two daughters, and her Scottish boyfriend, Greg, are looking forward to celebrating. But trouble comes… As an elf on the shelf moves of its own volition, a snowman attracts too much attention, and an elderly nei ...

Love, Lies and Other Deceptions

Love can be quite a trip. Whether it's that first magnetic encounter with a fascinating stranger, the desperate wait for a call that never comes, or even the lies and deceptions of an illicit affair, there's nothing like ...

The Postman Always Dies Twice

Postmen. Poltergeists. Poteen. When former San Francisco cop, Maggie Doyle, extends her stay in Ireland, dealing with more murder and mayhem isn’t on her to-do list. The instant Maggie and her UFO-enthusiast friend discover the dead body of the Whisper Island postman, Maggie’s plans to chill for the ...

Fore Play

"A company of spineless, scheming men try to gouge a California country club for every penny it's worth in Sheehan's seamy, steamy comedy of errors." -Kirkus Reviews

"Good book, great read! Laughs, sex, golf, and good wine. What more could you want?" -Danny Jacobson, Creator and Executive ...

Space Balls: Houston, We Have Liftoff

Billionaire Rose West suffers no fools. Growing up abandoned by her parents and left to the socialite wolves at an all-girl boarding school, Rose learned early on how to survive with a smile, a wink, and cleavage full of cash. As an oil baroness, a soon-to-be honors graduate from a prestigious unive ...

Grave New World (Down & Dirty Supernatural Cleaning Services, #1)

Sometimes you have to play dirty. I’m Paige Harper and I clean up supernatural messes. But my personal life is something I can’t seem to straighten out. I accidentally married a fae, and even though we've been divorced for years, Jax still manages to land me in hot water. Like, putting my house on t ...

Reality Bites Back Again

“You’ve been cancelled!” Daniel North, now the most famous man in Britain, is navigating the fickle world of celebrity. It’s a daily battle as he opens his DMs – is it another unsolicited nude, or a request for him to kill himself? There’s no grey area with the Reality TV fandom, and he’s reluctantl ...

Hurricane Hole

He's running from his past, she's hoping he'll save her future ~~~ Marooned in Baja, Mexico, a Chechen arms dealer is waiting for the right diver to retrieve the deadly cargo on the bottom of the Sea of Cortez. But when the Queen of daytime drama, Leila Hunter Standiford, happens to admire a beaut ...

Johnny Driver

Fate and idiocy has brought Johnny to Maui. In the final book of the first Johnny Trilogy, Johnny in Maui, working for an international crime organization against his will. Johnny is finally valuable because of his natural born ability to drive. He will have to drive anything and everything in order ...

Carrots: A Shelby Nichols Adventure

Shelby Nichols is an average woman who is married to the only guy she ever fell for. Her life is organized and predictable, revolving around her husband and two children. All that changes the day she stops at the grocery store for some carrots. As the cashier rings up her purchases, a gunman is b ...

Dead Man's Trench

DISCOVER THIS SIZZLING SERIES OF COZY MYSTERIES SET IN THE SWEEPING LANDSCAPE OF NORFOLK. A man lies dead, deep in an excavation trench, an angry villager's signature on a damming piece of evidence, and a race against time to discover the truth. When the corpse of a hated local man is discovered, sm ...

The Huge Book of Amazing Facts and Interesting Stuff 2024

A Scape Goat for Murder

Frankie Chandler’s upcoming nuptials suffer a devastating setback when her fiancé, Detective Martin Bowers, is injured on the job. How badly injured? The doctors are mum on his condition, and his colleagues are just as evasive, telling her they don’t know what he was doing on the lonely hillside whe ...

How To Murder a Millionaire

Murder. Millionaires. Mankinis. Armed with her newly issued private investigator's license, Maggie Doyle is on the case…of a sheep that went missing twenty-two years ago. When she trips over a dead body on the first day of the investigation, Maggie realizes there’s more to this cold case t ...

Johnny Real Estate

Trouble has a way of finding Johnny Tee. That's why after years of consorting with organized crime types, he is set on finding a legitimate job and making a go of it as a functional member of society. He will fail miserably. As a new trilogy begins, Johnny is off to join the world of real estate. ...

Chasing Rainbows

Marissa Madison lives with a unique family: an inventive uncle whose experiments usually involve explosions, an artist aunt who collects classic automobiles, a mother caught in a 1950s time warp, and a playboy twin brother who impersonates their eccentric aunt.   Ian MacGregor should have be ...

A Not So Rustic Retreat

If there’s one thing more dangerous than fireworks, it’s dating.

Note to self: Lying facedown on the floor while my vacation home gets ransacked isn’t romantic. That break-in wrecked our simple lunch. Definitely not the date I had in mind.

My only reason for spend ...

Collar Cases #2: Case of the Missing Monet

A field trip to the local art museum with Mittens's rambunctious nieces takes an unexpected turn when a priceless Monet painting is stolen! With their reputations on the line, the museum leadership desperately turns to Mittens and Alex for help. Will the detectives see past the deception around them ...

Rebel Without a Claus

Makeup. Mannequins. Murder. When ex-cop-turned-P.I. Maggie Doyle scores a lucrative undercover job at the makeup counter at a fashionable Galway department store, she expects discounted lipstick and an easy paycheck. After an altercation with a customer leads to a dead body in Maggie’s bathtub, she ...

‘Tis the Season to Feel Inadequate, Holidays, Special Occasions and Other Times Our Celebrations Get Out of Hand

It’s the American way to create a celebration for everything, then turn it into a chore or worse, a nightmare. ’Tis the Season to Feel Inadequate is a collection of humorous essays about how we let our expectations steal the joy out of Christmas and other holidays and special events. It’s understand ...

First Friday: How virginity almost killed me

This tale of Agnes Anne O’Neil, a 28 year-old virgin who struggles to leave home, will both captivate and tickle your funny bone. You’ll meet her wacky Irish Catholic family, her favorite saints and pet snail, and the evil that pursues her. You’ll chuckle when she introduces her Je ...

Revenge is a Dish Best Served With Eggnog: A Cozy Paranormal Mystery

In the quaint, twinkling town of Christmas Hills, Destiny Mellowes is just about finished with wrapping the last present of the day. When a charming stranger named Carson walks into the modest gift shop owned by her parents and asks for directions to the nearby resort, Destiny has no idea her hol ...

The Perfect Culture

Thomas Gephardt is a world traveller. Or at least he would like to be one. Determined to leave the confines of his sheltered upbringing in the United States, he voyages to France to expand his horizons. He spends three months with a French family in Bordeaux, working in a local hotel. Inspired by th ...

Johnny Zookeeper

Johnny continues his quest to find a spot in the working world and thinks he has finally found the solution: clientele who are in cages and verbally refuse his service. But when Johnny is given more responsibility than he should have, the animals, the customers, and the entire city are in for trou ...

Vincible

Breakups are hard, but getting dumped is easy.

What do you do when you wake up to find a video of your drunken meltdown blowing up on Reddit?
Or social is filled with your ex-girlfriend living the party life now that she’s finally dumped you?

Ja ...

The Finger Trap

Tony Flaner is a malingering part-time comedian, full-time sarcastic, who’s never had it hard, and never finished a thing in his life. He’s had twelve years to prepare for his divorce and didn’t. He had his entire life to choose a career and hasn’t. Now time’s up, and he’s in a world of trouble. But ...

Galactic Kitty

Lucifer is a highly trained alien operative on a critical mission: decode a set of tarot cards and save his species from furry extinction. But when he’s mistaken f ...

The Case of the Not-So-Fair Trader ( A Richard Sherlock Whodunit book 1)

A despicable stock trader is found buried under an avalanche of his own garden rocks, causing fired-from-the force- Richard Sherlock to be yanked off the bowling alley and whisked to the crime scene by his pampered protegee Tiffany Richmond. He must prove murder and stop payment of the twelve-millio ...

DANG NEAR DEAD #2, Award-winning Aggie Mundeen Mysteries4-book

PLEASE NOTE: Only the first 10 requesters will receive free books. BUT: Amazon has the 4-book AGGIE MUNDEEN series on sale for $8.97 at http://tinyurl.com/AggieMundeen. In DANG NEAR DEAD, Aggie, Detective Sam (traveling incognito) and friend Meredith vacation at a dude ranch, a prickly destinatio ...

Grave in the Garage

A lifeless hand rises ghost-like from a car mechanic's pit. Who does it belong to? And what happened? Annabelle and DI Nicholls set out to solve the murder, but find themselves wrapped up in not one, but three different mysteries. A puppy helps, too.